Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Aibohphobia: Fear of palindromes.
Aquadextrous: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Aromatic: An automatic crossbow.
Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Barbecue: A line of people waiting for a haircut.
Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Bouyant: A male insect.
Boycott: Somewhere to keep male babies.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Bungee Jumping: Suicide, with strings attached.
Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
Carpetuation: The act of (when vacuuming) running over a piece of string at least a dozen times, bending over, picking it up, examining it and then dropping it again to let the vacuum have another chance.
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period
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Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Chickens: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.
Cobra: A brasseire for conjoined twins.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Craughed: To laugh and cry simultaneously.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your way.
Divorce: The future tense of the word "marriage"
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
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