Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Elbonics: The art of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a theater.
Fine: A tax for doing wrong.
Flusterpated: Being so flustered that words get bound up inside you.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Generica: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Gossip: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
Handkerchief: Cold Storage.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Instigator: What you add water to when you want an alligator.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trials were a prime example.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Lasterday: Any day before today.
Matricide: Killing yourself on a bed.
Mistress: Somewhere between a mister and a mattress.
Monogamy: A bored game for adults.
Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.
Mouse Potato: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Myth: A female moth.
Naggavator: The person in the passenger seat who is having trouble reading the map. Also, anyone who is helping to drive but not actually behind the wheel.
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