Chuck it, Part 2

Facts about Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.