Bumper Stickers, Part 2

Where is the rapture when you need it?

Faster than a speeding ticket.

People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do.


Ham radio operators do it with greater frequency.

I have a perfect body. It's your vision that's defective.

I never thought I'd miss Nixon.

Well, at least the war on the environment is going well.

Jesus loves me, this I know - that is why I don't drive slow!

Just be happy I'm not a twin.

I'm not perfect, but I'm so close that it scares me.

Churches only worship the prophet margin.

Screw world peace, visualize DRIVING.

You probably don't recognize me without the cape.

Don't believe everything you think.

My feminine side is lesbian.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

WWJD (Who Wants Jelly Donuts?)

I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

Cats make everything taste better.

Stable relationships are for horses.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Just say NO to negativity.

I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

333: I'm only half evil.

I read the Constitution for the articles.

When life hands you gators, make Gatorade.

I've heard about the evils of drinking beer, so I gave up reading.

Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls).

My gamer fragged your honor student.

The bigger the hat, the better the cowboy.

My dog is smarter than your honor student.

I feel better after I wine a little.