Chuck it, Part 3

Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.