For my wife.Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!
Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!
Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.
Q: Where do cows go on dates?
A: The moo-vies!
Q: What do you call a tired cow?
A: Milked out!
Q: What goes oo ooo oooo?
A: A cow with no lips.
Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.
Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.
Q: Where do cows like to live?
A: St. Moo-is, Moo-ssouri, and Moo Jersey.
Q: What did the cow wear to the football game?
A: A Jersey.
Q: Why can't you shock cows?
A: They've herd it all.
Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.
Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Nothing silly, cow's don't talk.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He's got no beef.
Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.
Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody's herd.
Q: What do you call a cow that has 3 legs?
A: Lean beef
Q: What do you call a cow that has 2 legs?
A: Side of beef
Q: What do you call a cow that has 1 leg?
A: Steak
Q: What do you call a cow that has no legs?
A: Ground beef
Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: In the cow-boose.
Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.
Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?
Q: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
A: It's a place of udder delight.
Q: Where do cows go in the afterlife?
A: Moo Moo Land
Q: Why don't cows have any money?
A: Because the farmers milk them dry.
Q: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A: An udder failure.
Q: What do cows do for entertainment?
A: They go to the mooooovies.
Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.
Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues
Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy
Q: What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna
Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever
Q: What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
A: Holstaines
Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don't work.
Q: What do you call a cow who just recently had its baby?
A: Decalfinated
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer.
The farmer had been taken so many times by the local car dealer that when the dealer wanted to buy a cow, the farmer priced it to him like this:
Basic cow, $200; two-tone exterior, $45; extra stomach $75; product storage compartment, $60; dispensing device, four spigots at $10 each, $40; genuine cowhide upholstery, $125; dual horns, $15; automatic fly swatter, $35. Total = $595.
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