Cool quotes.

You’re like Ugly Betty except your name isn’t Betty.

Silly Ashley you can’t get pregnant through the face.

I made a robot powered by hate, but I loved it so much it didn’t work.

I’m not saying he’s unlucky, but if he fell into a barrel of boobs, he’d come up sucking his own thumb.

Well, I’d like to agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong

Son, there are two types of girls in this world: the good ones and the bad ones. And the bad ones are the good ones to know.

I’m not the smartest or the best looking but i am smarter than anyone better looking than me, I am better looking than anyone smarter than me, and if someone is smarter and better looking than me, I can kick their ass.

Never moon anyone within kicking distance.

Never claim to be intelligent, compassionate, or a good driver. Inevitably you’ll do something contrary to all three.

If there was no hole in the ozone how would rocket ships get out?

Love is the weak man’s strength and the strong man’s weakness…

Every zoo is a petting zoo if you’re brave enough.

On a scale from one to drunk, how high are you?”

Drink up, ’cause you can’t regret what you don’t remember.

The key to originality is hiding your sources.

You know how they say it’s lonely at the top? I’ll be god damned if it ain’t lonely at the bottom too.