Wife 1.0

This has been around long before the internet, and in many forms. But it's still funny.


Dear Tech Support:
Last Year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of valueable space and resources. The new program also seems to need more and better system specs every month. Wife 1.0 installed it self into all other programs and now moniters all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6 are automatically blocked and when tried to open the system shuts down. I cant seem to keep Wife 1.0 running in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking of going back to GirlFriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. please Help!
Thanks,
A troubled User,

REPLY:
Dear troubled User,
This is a very common problem that many Wife 1.0 user complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to wife 1.0, thinking it is just a entertainment and utilities program. Wife 1.0 is a OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's creator to run, check moniter EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall or purge the files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 users manual under Warning-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving your overall system. I suggest installing the backgroud application "YES DEAR" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system willl return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintainence. Wife 1.0 comes with many support programs, such as CLEAN AND SWEEP 3.0, COOK IT 1.5 and DO BILLS 4.2. However, be very carefull how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to luanch NAG NAG 9.5. Once this happence, the only way to regain previous proformence of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 1.0 and Diamond 5.0! WARNING!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretery With Short Skirt 3.3. or Hooker 2.3 these applications are not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversable and unerasable damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support,