Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
Chuck Norris’ favorite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
No comments:
Post a Comment