Chuck it, Part 8

Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's: Already Been Chucked.

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it!

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.