Homerizm, Part 4

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

I hope I didn't brain my damage!

Nuts and gum, together at last!

We'll die together, like a father and son should.

Let us celebrate this agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

We're gonna get a new TV. Twenty-one inch screen, realistic flesh tones, and a little cart so we can wheel it into the dining room on holidays!

First you don't want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.

Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.

Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun!

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

Oh, they have Internet on computers now.

Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out.

Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me?

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T.