The Automobile

1904 - First speeding ticket, Dayton Ohio.

1908 - Ford Model T introduced.

1911 - First Indy 500 Race takes place.

1912 - Traffic signals first used.

1920 - Travel trailers introduced.

1921 - Fedral - Aid Highway aid act. Money to states to build roads.

1926 - Cigarettte lighters installed (actually cigar lighters)

1930 - First car radio.

1932 - First parking meter.

1933 - Drive in movie theater open.

1935 - Lead additive added to fuel to increase gas mileage.

1940 - California opens its first highway.

1940 - First car air conditioning.

1945 - Cruise Control invented.

1946 - Jeep introduces the first SUV.

1948 - "In-N-Out" opens the first drive through.

1948 - The first power windows..

1955 - James Dean dies in car accident.

1956 - Federal aid Highway Act (to ensure troop movement incase of invasion).

1956 - First car phone released in Stockholm.

1963 - Clean air act first inacted.

1968 - First air bag introduced.

1975 - Catalytic converters become standard.

1984 - Seat belts become manatory.

1990 - Clean air act exteneded.

1992 - First civilian version of the Humvee.

1996 - Leaded gasoline banned.

1997 - GM offers electric car for lease.

2000 - First GPS navagater patented.

Blonde Humer

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Minnesota Vikings?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.

Back to the Future, 1971

That was the year when...

• Charles Manson was found guilty in LA of murdering Sharon Tate amongst others.
• Comedic poet Ogden Nash died, aged 68
• China was admitted to the United Nations
• London Bridge was officially opened to the public, in the Arizona desert
• Disney World opens its gates in Florida

About 1971
During 1971 the Manson trial dominated the headlines in America, while on a lighter note Disney World opened its gates for the first time and gave millions of kids somewhere else to plead with their parents to go to.

You Have been Watching...
• Bless This House
• The Mary Tyler Moore Show
• Dave Allen At Large
• The Comedians
• The Two Ronnies

At the Cinema
• The French Connection (Best Film Oscar)
• A Clockwork Orange
• Fiddler On The Roof
• Dirty Harry

Homerizm, Part 3

Apu, you got any Skittle Brau? Never mind, just give me some Duff and a pack of Skittles.

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Extended warranty? How can I lose?

Mmmmmm - 52 slices of American cheese.

Hey, I asked for ketchup - I'm eatin' salad here!

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know like that movie... "Spaceballs". But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy".

I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

Son, when you participate in sporting events - it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

God bless those pagans.

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

Woo hoo! 350 dollars! Now I can buy 70 transcripts of Nightline!

Back to the Future, 1970

That was the year when...

• Brazil won the football World cup (in Mexico)
• Edwarth Heath became British Prime Minister
• The Beatles broke up after McCartney announced he was leaving the band
• In a further escalation of the Vietnam war Nixon sent troops into Cambodia
• Jimi Hendrix (27) & Janis Joplin (27) both died through drug abuse

About 1970
The start of a new decade saw the escalation of America's involvement in the Vietnam war and the death of sixties Icons Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin.

You Have been Watching...
• For The Love Of Ada
• The Goodies
• The Liver Birds
• Monty Python's Flying Circus

At the Cinema
• Patton (Best Film Oscar)
• M*A*S*H
• Ryan's Daughter
• Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls